Dear Reader,

It was 2019 and I was logging in over 12000 steps on average a month. At my highest, I was hitting a daily average of 14,426 steps per day.

I walked to meet all of my basic errands such as laundry, grocery shopping, and picking up mail. I lived in a nice area and would also go jogging nearly every day, so it didn’t feel difficult to meet 10000 steps, and encouraged by my averages and mental monthly streaks, I would continue to try to push that number up past 12000, then 14000.

But then the pandemic hit, and my step count almost halved.

When this happened, I was primarily met with two reactions:

1. Anxiety that I would begin to gain weight/lose endurance/become unhealthier by some other measure
2. Relief

While some people had taken the opportunity of closed gyms and swimming pools to start running or walking outside more, for me the pandemic had the opposite effect. I told myself that it was because I shouldn’t go on the crowded paths or that I should minimize my errand times, but the pandemic really brought on a nice excuse for me to spend less time exercising.

I know I shouldn’t have let it, but the step count was beginning to give me anxiety. It gave me a sense of accomplishment, and when I failed to meet it, it gave me a sense of guilt. I wanted to be 1% better every day, and that meant taking an extra 10, 100, 500, 1000 steps compared to the day before.

So it felt a little scary to scrap that all away, and reevaluate how I was taking care of myself.

Did I really want to spend the rest of my life tracking and counting the steps I’ve taken in a day? Trying to up my average? Beating my previous day’s distance?

Not really, but I was worried what would happen.

But lucky for me, I neither gained weight nor saw a significant drop in my athletic performance. Maybe I was even happier because I now had extra headspace that wasn’t preoccupied with the number of steps I was taking a day.

Why Doing Less Exercise Isn’t as Bad as You Think

1. Halving exercise time doesn’t halve the benefits of it

Like most things that are good for us, exercise lies on a utility curve with diminishing returns. Meaning, halving the amount of exercise we do will not halve the amount of health benefit we gain from it.

So halving the number of steps I did was not as impactful as I had originally feared.

2. Doing less is not the same as doing none

For the same reason as above, it is much more beneficial to us to do 10 minutes of exercise every day of the week, than a single 70 minute session once a week.

It is the starting, the consistency over time, and the little baby steps that make the big difference. Not the intense workout that puts us over the edge of exhaustion.

3. We end up adjusting in unconscious ways

Bodies are intuitive, and when we move more, we tend to eat more. The opposite is also true: when we move less, we tend to eat less. So don’t worry that you are going to suddenly gain weight because you are now exercising less — your body and appetite will compensate accordingly.

I will note that this requires existing skills in body mindfulness. But in general we are good at this, as long as we have a habit of eating whole and filling foods, fresh foods which are best and naturally programmed to help us understand satiation.

We can only eat so many apples or boiled eggs before we feel the need to stop.

The healthiest version of yourself doesn’t exist at any specific number

The difference between meeting 14000 steps/day and 7000 steps/day is not so different.

Your health does not change so much, but it is the little steps that we decide to take every day that actually count towards healing, building, and protecting our health.

So don’t be so worried about getting in that intense workout, meeting that mile, having to become drenched in sweat, or even feeling like you “exercised” — do what you can, and do it every day.

Warmly,

Kaki

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Questions for Kaki

“My coworker is making comments about my body. What should I do?”

The following story is from a reader, in response to my piece “The irony of reaching your 'perfect health’ goals”.

***

Hi Kaki,

Thank you for this! A real time-ly read.

I had this same person (at work) who has been commenting on my body, telling or hinting me to lose weight and get smaller. I wouldn't say I like it, but am not sure how to navigate it without embarrassing myself or her, or making her feel bad and worst of all, disrespecting her (she's an older figure in the office).

Most of the time, I deflect by going along with it or laughing; when I can, I just ignore her or try not to initiate anything. But today, while the conversation was the usual weather talk kind about work, and how I must be tired with the heavy lifting and labour we had to do, she threw in a comment saying something along the lines of how I'm "big-sized" so it's alright (as in, hinting that I'm strong and have energy).

I don't know why sometimes, comments from strangers hurt no less. Told my friend about this, and I feel heard and supported. I am also reminded that I am more than the empty words she says about me. And all the other times this year, she told me to exercise or lose weight. I'm trying not to let that get to me. I know my worth is more than just the size of my body.

I'm not saying I don't want to or am not doing anything about it, but it's not what defines me.

Cheers,

C

***

Dear C,

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry that this person at work has been doing this to you.

I can tell that you’ve been trying to offer her a lot of grace by trying to ignore it or laughing along with it, and I appreciate that you’ve been considerate of any cultural differences between you both (such as age).

In Japan, I have found that people tend to talk about weight or body size more openly compared to the US, and I had always found that to be uncomfortable at its mildest, and rude/hurtful at its worst. It wasn’t always ill-intentioned, but it is hurtful nonetheless.

Just because there may be some differences between you both though, I wouldn’t shy away from establishing stronger boundaries and letting her know that commenting on your body size is not appropriate. In cases like these, I find that delivery is much more important than what you’re actually asking of her.

I sense that you would be able to approach it gracefully, and a 1:1 in-person conversation can go a long way I think. She may feel a bit embarrassed, but embarrassment (while uncomfortable) is not necessarily a bad feeling! It teaches us what we might do differently in the future. As the saying goes, being clear is kind.

In the meantime, I’m glad that you spoke about it with friends and that they have been supportive of you. Words from strangers can hurt, especially repeatedly over time.

Surround yourself with uplifting people, and as an extra reminder, yes you are so much more than your body size.

Warmly,

Kaki

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