The irony of excess freedom according to Japanese living


Dear Reader,

You need to live more kisoku tadashii!

When I was much younger, my grandmother would often admonish me with this phrase whenever I visited her in Japan during the summers.

As I woke up at 11am, with my bed, hair, and room a mess, with no plans for the day and nothing proper to eat in the fridge, I thought that summer breaks were supposed to be like this. What is wrong with an unstructured day? It was freeing and fun, to wake up without an alarm and without any responsibilities for the day.

But it was around a few hours later, when I was still in my pajamas and I realized that I hadn’t done anything besides staring at my Nintendo DS playing video games, that the value of my grandmother’s words would settle in. Maybe having a bit of structure in my day wouldn’t be too bad.

The direct translation for kisoku tadashii is “correct rule”, but it’s a phrase that is often used to describe how people should live their everyday lives— in a structured or routine way.

Kisoku (規則): rule

Tadashii (正しい): correct

It’s not a very romantic way to describe living, and it’s certainly not how I would describe my ambitions when it comes to my ideal life. When people talk about their ideal lifestyle, they often use words like freedom, adventure, relaxing, and peace. We don’t really think about wanting a routine or a list of things to do every day.

We want to do what we want, when we want to. But the problem is, without any structure, it’s really hard to do exactly that.

Without structure, we end up forgetting what it is we wanted to do, or without any planning we are unable to make time for it. Without routine, we are unable to build towards our goals, and we find ourselves feeling lost. It’s very easy to become unhappy without these things.

This isn’t to say that we need to lead every day of our lives with a set schedule, planned to the hour or minute. At the end of life, you're not going to be mad at yourself for spending one or two days lying in bed and playing video games, but if we don’t plan it’s easy for those days to become weeks, months, or even years.

To live kisoku tadashii is not to live strictly, but it’s to live with intentions. To think about what you want, why you want it, how you’ll do it, and subsequently, when you’ll do it. It’s not about being ‘productive’ all the time, but it’s also not about doing nothing all the time.

It’s about working towards something, but also making time to sit back and enjoy life.

The following day I asked my grandmother to wake me up in the morning, and we made plans to go to the park and then pick up some fresh tofu at the store on the way back.

I put away my futon mattress bed, looked up the weather, and picked out the clothes I would wear tomorrow. I had some unstructured time, but I also knew I wouldn’t be playing video games all day.

I realized it’s going to be a good summer 😊

Warmly,

Kaki


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Hi, I'm Kaki!

I teach about health inspired by simple Japanese philosophies and lifestyle practices, so you can learn to find peace, fulfillment, strength, and health in your own body. Sign up for my newsletter to receive all my writing and exclusive resources!

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