Dear Reader,

Taking care of yourself is simple in concept, but in practice it often feels anything but straightforward.

On the one hand we have those who believe in the 'toughness' of eating right and exercising to enjoy the benefits of self-improvement. A mindset that leans into the idea that all we need is a bit of self-discipline to become the best version of ourselves.

On the other, we have those who believe in accepting ourselves where we are. An approach that is more guided by the value of putting less pressure on yourself, because being our own harshest critic undermines the whole point of self-care.

The truth probably lies somewhere between the two - question is, what's the right balance?

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Japanese jiko kanri to gently build self-discipline

There are many days where I feel frustrated at myself for being 'lazy' or not being able to take care of myself. Like, I know I should be sleeping earlier, but I end up scrolling. Why do I do this to myself?

In moments like these, when I feel like I just need more “self-discipline”, I like to turn to the gentler approach of jiko kanri.

Jiko kanri (自己管理) or self-management, is a concept that plays a significant role in personal development and achieving one's goals.

While the idea of self-management may not be exclusively Japanese, the nuance of jiko kanri is that it doesn’t just help your personal development, but it’s an act of stress reduction, and consequently joy.

Takeaway 1:

Jiko-kanri is an act of stress reduction, and consequently joy.

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Why they teach self-management in Japanese schools

The idea of self-management is often taught from a young age in Japanese education. In school, students are tasked with responsibilities such as preparing and serving lunch, cleaning classrooms, and often managing their own after school activities.​

While these may just seem like arduous chores, practicing jiko kanri can help reduce stress and anxiety by providing a sense of control over one's life.

When we effectively manage our time and tasks, we often experience less overwhelm and build self-confidence. We realize that it feels really good to take care of ourselves.

Takeaway 2:

Practicing jiko kanri can help reduce stress and anxiety by providing a sense of control over one's life.

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Start with mindfulness, not the task

Jiko kanri is not just "being disciplined", but it encourages you to be mindful of your habits, choices, and behaviors, making you more self-aware of your choices and how they influence your well-being.

Over time, this self-awareness helps you make better decisions in spite of the allure of perhaps less-helpful habits (such as scrolling social media).

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The idea of “forcing” myself to do anything feels like punishment. But focusing on how good it would make me feel after-- even if it feels annoying in the moment-- helps self-discipline feel more like self-care.

Jiko kanri is not about becoming overly rigid, but first it's about gently easing ourselves into being more mindful of how your habits make you feel.

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What habits make me feel better?

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While jiko kanri may be rooted in Japanese culture, the principles of self-management can help anyone nudge healthier habits. It can be applied to establishing better sleep habits, eating better, fitness, mental health, or other self-improvement endeavors.

Start small, and be mindful in the journey. You may be surprised by how much more natural self-discipline becomes.
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Warmly,

Kaki

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