Dear Reader,

When we think about getting healthier, we usually think about things we can do on our own.

What we eat, how much we move, how well we sleep. We often have a list of things we track, improve, and work on by ourselves.

I sometimes wonder if in this mindset we've become so focused on taking care of ourselves that we forget how much the people in our lives can influence our health too.

It's something I hadn't thought much about until my last annual physical.

I'd just switched to a new doctor (random reminder: If you don't feel cared for by yours, you're allowed to switch). She asked the usual lifestyle questions, and when drinking came up, I told her I didn't drink much.

She said that was good, then shared an interesting perspective.

For years, red wine was thought to be good for your heart, partly thanks to the popularization of the “French Paradox,” which linked France's relatively low rates of heart disease to its wine-drinking culture. But more recent research has challenged the idea that alcohol itself offers health benefits (WHO).

When I brought this up, my doctor suggested that perhaps some of those initial apparent benefits associated with drinking had less to do with the alcohol and more to do with the people sharing it: conversations, gatherings, and time spent with friends.

It was refreshing to have a doctor consider who I spend my time with, rather than just asking about vegetables, steps, and sleep.

A simple way to improve your health (that isn't diet or exercise)

Strong relationships are linked to better physical and mental health. In fact, one of the longest-running studies on adult life, has found that the people who stayed happiest and healthiest weren't necessarily the richest or most accomplished, but those who considered themselves high in quality, meaningful relationships.

After that appointment, I kept thinking of an old Japanese saying:

Tai (鯛), or sea bream, is a fish associated with celebration in Japan. It's served at weddings, New Year gatherings, and ceremonies celebrating a baby's first meal, partly because its name echoes medetai, meaning joyful or “worthy of celebration”.

Like an American Thanksgiving turkey, it’s a dish that makes a meal feel like a special occasion. And yet, the saying suggests that even the most delicious food isn't quite the same without someone to share it with.

This appreciation for eating together extends beyond the proverb. In Japan, shared meals are even encouraged through national food education policies, with the government setting a goal for families to eat breakfast or dinner together at least 11 times a week. In many elementary schools, children also eat lunch together in their classrooms, serving one another and sharing the meal with their teachers.

It's a nice reminder that a meal can be good for us not just because of what we're eating, but because of who we're eating with.

If you've ever had a complicated relationship with food, spending a lot of time thinking about nutrition, portions, or whether you've been "good" with your eating habits, I think there's something comforting about this perspective.

🌱 One small thing to try this week Try sharing one meal you'd normally eat alone. It doesn't have to be fancy. Have lunch with a coworker instead of eating at your desk, sit down with your roommate, or invite a friend over for something simple. Keep it simple! The idea is to make a little connection on an ordinary day 🙂

Of course, there's nothing wrong with eating alone. I enjoy plenty of meals by myself, too.

But remember that good health isn't only what's on your plate, it can also be who's across the table.

Warmly,

Kaki

P.S. Speaking of gathering: I'm putting together something gentle for January, a small space to begin the new year together, without the pressure of resolutions. More soon!

Thanks for reading!

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